Day 11 of my two-week liquid diet, part of my journey to better health, or as it has become to me, “Better Living Through Chemistry.”
I swore I’d never eat some of the diet things I’ve consumed in the last week and a half, but I have and they didn’t kill me. In fact, I believe they might be working on saving me.
Speaking of saving me, I want to start out this blog post with a giant hug of appreciation and love. I’ve heard from an amazing number of people who shared their support, curiosity, well wishes, enthusiasm and just plain “you go, girl” since posting my first steps into this surgical adventure.
My operation (yes, I’m giggling and thinking of the funny looking guy in the game and wondering if a buzzer will go off if my surgeon touches the wrong thing) will be done in just over three days. When they are finished, my stomach will be more tubular with a tiny pouch that looks forward to little bits of Things That Are Good For Me instead of a giant receptacle of More Than I Need.
I ate my last fried catfish two weeks ago. And kind of hated it.
Same with the shrimp, prepared by cooks who knew their stuff. I’m sure it was perfect.
But I was disappointed. Kind of disgusted. And happy that it was my last deep fried morsel.
The next day, my final, final big meal wasn’t a go-for-broke belly buster. It was my favorite sandwich from Jersey Mike’s, with chips and a soda. A simple end to a changing habit.
I truly believe that the brain is stronger than we think.
I mentioned that I’d lost about 30 pounds already, most of that just from cutting back my portions. I know some people think if I just keep that up, all the weight will fall off. It might. But I know it would not stay off.
Over the last year, I’ve been doing the bariatric prep dance. Apparently, most of the stuff I learned in class has been sticking and the little voices that say “I’m full” have gotten louder. I have more patience with myself.
I can do a liquid diet. I can do the clear liquid part, too. And even though I swore I’d never do it, I am gleefully dropping scoops of protein powder in a glass of orange juice and enjoying it. I see a gloppy orange drink, but my brain actually thinks I’m drinking a Creamsicle.
And those sugar-free syrups that are so popular at the coffeehouses are not too bad when I’m sick of vanilla anything. Current faves are English Toffee and coconut.
The mind games are quite entertaining.
I’m also pretty darned proud of getting through two major food events, one of which my husband and I host and I make my special spaghetti sauce and pasta for about 100 close personal friends. I didn’t even taste the sauce (that’s what daughters and Italian friends are for) and when my husband asked me if the first pot of pasta was ready, I instinctively picked a strand of spaghetti off the spoon, bit it to check if it was al dente and promptly spit it out.
What’s happened to me?
When I was at my highest weight, I was also taking steroids for muscle aches. I looked more like the Sta-Puft marshmallow man than myself and my husband said he missed my face. That might have been the toughest thing to hear, the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back and quite possibly the reason I decided to be serious about this.
I’m happy to say that I have my face back. I don’t have to hide from cameras anymore and it’s just going to get better.
When my house was filled with people this weekend, it wasn’t just the crock pots of bubbling marinara and meat sauce that were overflowing. That night was a banquet of support and, as I sipped my apple juice and downed a chocolate protein drink, I drank in a lot of love and approval, for which I am overwhelmingly grateful.
Excuse me now, I need to go make my list for the drug store. There are some stronger chemicals required for the final stages of surgical prep. I’m looking at it this way: from here on out, getting ready for my periodic colonoscopy will be a breeze!
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2 thoughts on “Engaging in some voracious mind games”
You go girl!!! I’m behind you all the way.
Sending you love and support, my friend.